You know who's good with robots? Robert Downey Jr., a.k.a. Ironman. You know who's the most awesome robot around? GLaDOS. Why does this crossover not exist?
I can imagine Tony Stark waking up in the Aperture Science testing laboratory with only his wits to guide him. Not even imagining what he would do to the CCTV system, the thought of what he would do with the Portal gun is highly entertaining, and would no doubt make for another Hollywood blockbuster.
Stuff all these game movies (you know I'm talking about you, Uwe Boll) where we're simply reliving the events of the game, but somehow it's less epic because we have no direct control. What we need are crossovers, and stat.
You know how many Ironman fanboys there are? Portal fanboys? Ironman AND Portal fanboys? Can you imagine a more unrivalled audience? And just think of the multitude of girlfriends dragged along to go see! Just imagine it!
And of course, my own gender loves these things, too. Ironman, because of Tony Stark. Portal, because of GLaDOS. By their powers combined, I would be one deliriously happy fangirl.
And, of course, the opening and ending sequences could only be scored by Jonathon Coulton. In fact, let's make it a musical. After all, we have to fit Skullcrusher Mountain in there somehow. And a montage similar to 'Flickr', but about Tony sneaking around the security system to outsmart our favourite evil mastermind. And then the after-credits teaser is Gordon Freeman's hand, clawing its way out of the rubble of the Citadel... as a zombie. I think I just gave myself the chills.
I'm going to go look up the numbers for Robert Downey Jr.'s agent and Valve's marketing department. I think I'd better suggest we all do lunch.